Change is good. I think. No, it isn’t. It can be good. It can also be difficult. I’ve made a lot of changes over the past couple years. My family has as well. The world around us has changed, we’ve changed and life changed. Many of you have gone through changes and the magnitude of some of those has been great. Days come and go and sometimes life’s events can enhance or take away our joy. Today’s post is about sharing a little of my personal side and a fresh start.
As many of you know, Floured Apron was a big part of my life. I poured my heart and soul into it and I loved it. I loved it when I was exhausted, trying something new, messing up, doing well and every moment in between. That journey took me to many unexpected places and events and I’ve made some incredible friends along the way. That being said, I felt pretty lousy the day I watched Rosie leave, while Carrie sobbed in her room for hours. It was something she was such a part of as well. It hurt the day I told everyone we were making changes and I wouldn’t be selling baked goods any longer. People were kind and told me “good luck.” All that time I spent building something, just to have it quickly go away. The truth is, it hurt and it left me feeling lost. I also felt like I failed. I didn’t fail, I made choices. They were definitely the right ones! I knew in my mind and heart that I wasn’t a failure but I also knew I wasn’t the same. My priorities, at that moment in time, were the right ones and I looked forward.
I tried to move on. For goodness sake, it’s cupcakes and a camper. Geez. I got involved at Carrie’s new school and focused my life on other things. Our new house has a small kitchen with an older oven. I didn’t feel inspired or motivated to bake. Sometimes a batch of cookies, a cake or pan of brownies would be made for family and friends. Most of the time, they’d burn or cook unevenly. I’d say, “I’m just not going to bake.” Well, the not baking part made me a little grouchy!
Something in me was missing. It was you and it was baking which was my outlet for love and creativity. I missed baking for people and seeing them (YOU) every Saturday morning in the beautiful dew covered Howe Meadow or at weddings and graduation parties or at other markets like, Wildroots. The smiles on faces and stories I got to hear. Going to visit the other vendors and learn about their weeks. Spending time with Carrie and watching her make connections that fulfilled her–and me. I hold all of those moments and memories close to my heart and wouldn’t trade them for the world! It was a privilege and a dream job.
When we moved, I thought I had to give it all up. It just seemed easier to walk away. It wasn’t. The feelings I had didn’t keep me from living life and doing all the things I needed to do. I just took a strange approach to “leaving” Floured Apron and didn’t take time to think about how I’d feel without it. If it couldn’t be the way I wanted, I’d just not have it. I’ve always had a vision and a dream for how I want it to look someday. I realized one night that I can still share my passion and love of food and baking AND I can do it through Floured Apron! This doesn’t sound like a big revelation. It’s baking. Who cares? What’s the big deal? Well, it doesn’t matter how big or small something is, if it positively impacts our lives. If it moves you, do it. If it brings a tad bit of joy to your heart, do it. If it makes you feel more complete, do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect and Instagram photo worthy. Life is real and we only get one life. There’s enough bad going on in the world and even when we feel these small joys and pleasures don’t matter much, let me tell you, they do. Let’s all find a little something that makes us feel good. Something that brings back our spark. Think about a time you did something you loved. Imagine incorporating that back into your life. I will tell you that since I’ve decided to write and share baking again, my mood has improved and my heart feels more full. You should try it!
I’ve decided to get back to simple and get back to my mission when I started Floured Apron. I want to BAKE PEOPLE HAPPY–including myself! Find your happy place, friends! In the meantime, I’ll share a little of my world with you and be here to encourage you along the way!
From the heart,